November 2011
1 post
Expansions of the Russian River Valley and... →
December 2009
2 posts
Life-cycle events
Sophie: he told me he is giving himself 5 more years before marriage and kids
Aaron: well now that you know his life’s plan
Sophie: he said he is not ready
Aaron: i think you have the opportunity to get married
Sophie: and hopes he will be ready then
yes i will be 31
Aaron: that’s kind of crazy you even talked about that
Sophie: i have no idea how it came up
31 is a good age to...
J'accuse
Sophie: why were you calling me when i was having nap time hellllllooooooooo me: who was calling you no one called you Sophie: you you called me me: you crazy Sophie: your cell phone called me me: like, you are actually full on tripping right now Sophie: at 4.45 WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT i have the call log on my phone to show you me: oh i see wow my first ever pocket call...
October 2009
3 posts
Action Required
Someone please explain to me why I am drinking bourbon instead of sleeping right now.
September 2009
11 posts
Sophie: are you going to the ced celebration later? Aaron: i’m not sure Sophie: ah there is a reception after Aaron: yes Sent at 11:47 AM on Friday Aaron: what time does it start? Sent at 11:49 AM on Friday Sophie: 4 until 7 yuck Sent at 11:53 AM on Friday Sophie: and then we go celebrate zelaya Sent at 11:54 AM on Friday Aaron: ugh so why don’t we just show up at 6 ...
2 tags
In what has got to be the most low-key near-death experience I’ve ever experienced, I was nearly run over by an elderly woman going 5 mph in a Prius.
1 tag
Old Bayes - not my favorite seasoning
My wig did the splits (no gymno)
2 tags
1 tag
August 2009
12 posts
1 tag
Business Proposal
Thinking about opening an Italian-themed hot-dog spot. Name: Malgs Berlusconi Island. 15% off with tabloid article alleging you seduced a girl 50 years your junior.
WatchRussian President Dmitrii Medvedev talks shit about Ukraine from what seems to be his private seaside villa.
1 tag
Press Release
Announcing the formation of Lead Balloon Ventures, LLC: “Where your derisibles become our dirigibles!”
1 tag
I would also accept “License to Krill”
1 tag
“Prawnzi Scheme,” or “It’s Hard Out Here for a Shrimp”
Dude is wearing an “Uncircumcised: never crippled” t-shirt. He must not be referring to the time his mom dropped him on his head as an infant, irreparably damaging the part of his brain that governs what information is acceptable to broadcast to strangers.
From the Annals of Not Seeing a Job Through: took the leftovers out of the fridge, but neglected to take them to work with me.
“I rock rappers frequently; I’m like Stevie Wonder, I can’t see a...”
– Lord Finesse
Coffee and beer is a real man’s jaeger bomb.
An Open Letter to Weisse:
In headier days, you thought you wanted it with Malgs, but experience has made you Humblr.